What's on Your "To Be" list

Recent conversations have elevated my awareness of just how busy most of us our. There seems to exist some invisible code within our culture that prompts to fill every single minute with activity and if at all possible multiple activities. Cell phones, text messaging and wi-fi around every corner has also made us constantly interruptible. The result...being focused and present have become very difficult. In fact, being a human "being" and not a human "doing" is a counter cultural challenge.

I am as guilty as anyone. I tend to get out of bed and generate an unachievable "to do" list. Often times far into the day I check my list and find that I have hardly touched the things that seemed so important when it was generated. I highlight, underline, and circle to indicate things complete, missed our partially initiated. Whatever doesn't get complete carries over to another day. On the rare days I do manage to pull off my list, I find myself following my stellar performance with a lack luster day of immobility or weariness from over extending myself. Does any of this sound all to familiar.

Weary of being a human doing and missing the joy of being, I have taken on a new tact. I have made a "to be" list for the day. Ironically my first "to be" list was unachievably long and I hardly touched any of it. Imagine that. I went after my way of being just as I would my doing. I have trimmed my list down, but before sharing it, just what is a "to be" list. My to be list is an inventory of how I would like to live my life for the day in terms of who I am and what I emulate in my actions. It says something about the nature and identity of who I am as a person. It helps me be mindful of the types of things that are important when all is said and done.

My "to be" list for today was as follows:

• be a blessing
• joyful
• thankful
• be mindful of the rhythm of the day
• be positive

Nothing terrible earth shattering, but imagine how it would shake the world if we all where focused on being those types of things.

My list seemed to reorient my day. My list was an evaluatory lens for my doing. I found myself during my prayer time out at my sit spot in the woods moved to moments of just quiet. I would go to speak and words would seems so hollow or avoid me all together. But in there absence was a great deal of piece. I found myself just being with God. I cannot quantify how this relates to my "to be" list, but I have no doubt that there is a distinct connection.

My "to be" list seemed to bring to my day a sense of mindfulness which gave each moment greater fullness. I still have my "to do" list and yes it is highlighted, marked and a few things will carry over to another day. I am going let the to co-habitat on a page in the little purple notebook I tote with me for awhile. I anticipate trying to reconcile the two with one another here in the near future. For now though it is enough to have an intent of who I will be each day. As I live into being better at being, I also anticipate that much of my busy-ness will give way to quietness and being just as the words of my prayer did today.

Once again blessings to you from the Practical Disciple.

Prayer, Anger and Forgiveness

Life in the not too distant past has given me opportunity to grow in forgiveness. That's a pleasant way of saying that I have fought tooth and nail to release resentment. One learning in this process is that there comes a point in our pain when we must stop living out of the problem and start living into the solution. What do I mean by this?

Early in my hurt, my prayer focus was predominantly asking God to help me forgive. I was asking God over and over to help me let go of the anger. I was trying to pray my way out of the problem. Not entirely a bad thing. But praying your way out of the problem is only half of the solution.

When I came to a place where I let go of those prayers and began praying for the well-being of the one who harmed me, then I truly began to let go and replace hurt with health. As long as you are praying around your anger, then the energy of your life is still absorbed in thoughts and feelings about the anger. However, when you come to a place of praying for God's best for your enemy, when you prayer for their health and happiness, then the energy in your life is focused on compassion. Too bring myself to this place, I had to reflect on a saying that is tried and true, "hurting people, hurt people." Reminding myself of this common pattern allowed me to look with eyes of compassion on the one whom had harmed me.

There is an important disclaimer that I need to add. Praying for God's best is not merely a substitute for asking God to help you let go of anger. Both are necessary. We must be honest before God about the hurt and anger that we are feeling. We cannot leap past it. It is part of the process of grieving the hurt that we have felt. The key is fully feeling the hurt and yet not allowing ourselves to become stuck. Forgiveness involves a flow from the problem into the solution. The movement from anger to grace is sometimes a long slow journey. However, the alternative of remaining stuck is far more life depleting than the risk of forgivenes.

Blessings to you as you seek to forgive, love and care for those whom have hurt you.

Follow-up on Space For God

Just last night I spoke to someone about how their boyfriend keeps a Bible on a music stand in his room. Everything around it can be clutter and chaos, but the music stand holds its own orderly space with an open Bible. It is his space for God. One thing I was struck by, was how much this was a silent witness to her of his faith. Having a space both physically and temporally can be an unspoken witness of the priority of God in your life.

A number of years ago, I worked in a church in Oklahoma city and utilized a prayer room as my space for God. I was the associate director of a summer youth program. I would come early frequently and go into the prayer closet for a morning time with God. I was struck by how respectful people were of that time. Several times I would come out of that closet and find a youth patiently waiting to talk to me. People respect someone who is accomplishing what they wish they had the discipline to do. Many people desire a richer, fuller prayer life. Your space for God, whether it be physical or a space of time can be very inspiring to others in a quiet way. Just one other great reason to get intentional and set apart a time and space.

Blessings to you from the Practical Disciple

Space for God

Someone recently asked me during Lent how I managed to get prayer done at home. They were wondering how to avoid distractions. I have a spouse, 2 children, and an extremely spastic dog. It was a valid question. I avoid distraction in three ways typically--

1) Plan my prayer for a time when everyone is gone.
2) Pray after everyone gets in bed.
3) Leave and pray somewhere else.

I highly encourage you to both make a space in your home for encountering God and find a space you can flee to for sanctuary. Your space at home can be as simple as a chair in the corner with your Bible resting next to it and a perhaps a candle. In our first home, I had an actual prayer closet. It was not more than three feet by four feet. It housed a chair and a small shelf for a candle and Bible.

Outside of my home, I have two spaces for God that I go to regularly. One is what I call my "secret spot" or "sit spot." This spot is in nature. I go there every Monday for an hour or two at a minimum. I sit beneath a Sweet Gum tree, face north and gaze over a small pond. It is both a place of prayer and study. I have a routine or ceremony of prayer that I do each time that I go. I also take time to observe, meditate, wander and explore. Those Monday times are frequently my Sabbath.

My second space for God away from home is the chapel of a nearby hospital. Hospital chapels are great places to prayer. You can access them 24 hours a day, seldom anyone else comes in, they are extremely quiet, and no one would ever think to look for you there. Mine conveniently won't allow a cell phone signal. Most are small, sparse, reverent places of tasteful beauty. Check one out near you.

Lastly, the single most important feature of any space for God that you select will be convenience. If it takes you more than 5 minutes to get there, then consider a different spot. If you life is so frenzied that you can't find peace in your own home, then you probably don't have a luxury of time. The more convenient your spaces for God are the more likely you are to use them. My sit spot is right at five minutes from my home and I have a routine of going there at least weekly. The hospital chapel is perhaps three minutes at most and it is along my drive to and from work.

Seriously consider how you can physically make a space for God. We have whole rooms dedicated to sleeping, eating, preparing food, bathing and entertainment in our homes. Where does God fit? If you don't know then create something. Once again, simplicity and convenience are critical aspects of this important choice.

Blessings to you from the Practical Disciple as you seek to make space for God in your life.